hello there.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 11:33 PM

im seriously holding back myself
to stop myself from thinking about negative stuff and crying
im not having fun with all this at all
get this.
NOT AT ALL.
i should stop making people worried
and be the amelia that im supposed to be.
isnt that what you all want?

10:21 PM

someone tell me all this is gnna stop soon
i'll try to believe you.
and tell me how am i gnna meet the expectations of the world
just tell me.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007 10:30 PM

lost for words with all to say
Lord you take my breath away
still my soul, my soul cries out
for you are Holy

as i look upon Your name
circumstances fade away
now Your glory stills my heart
for You are Holy

You are Holy,
You are Holy Lord,

evermore my heart
my heart will say
above all
i live for Your glory
even if my world falls i will say
above all
i live for Your glory

with all my heart i'll say
im living for your name
with all to give You praise
we're living for Your glory Lord.

Labels: far more than just strings and frets

Monday, January 29, 2007 10:33 PM

greetings, earthlings
started off on the wrong note this morning
but shant elaborate.
anyway
ended off with a good but tiring note = good start to the week(:
im gnna make things work out great with God :D

tmr is a rather physics-y day.
physics peer tutoring.
physics test make-up.
physics tuition.
talking about physics
ive started to love it all over again
and i shant say who took it all away last year
but today physics lesson was fun(:
i love three-pin plugs(:
now i can spend my free time changing the wires for all my three-pin plugs at home(:
hahha.
LOVES

Saturday, January 27, 2007 10:26 PM

heyhey
loads of things have been happening
but i'll just cut things short.
my thighs are aching now
and so are my fingertips of my left hand.
ive been really tired these few days
causing me to sleep during lessons
and i have no idea what's going on during amaths
havent been doing revision as well.
i have competition on mon wed and fri
AND four tests next week
three of which fall on the same day.
despite all these nonsense.
i think i shld also give thanks
even though i know im backsliding.
give thanks, amelia,
give thanks.

Thursday, January 25, 2007 10:43 PM

i feel super fat now.
i cldnt even breathe properely just now
was so so so full
now i have a phobia of sushi.
rahhs.
its all you fault la.
hahha
next time cookies wld do(:
but i had fun.
and next time, just ask them to clear the plates la :D

tmr! tmr! tmr!
im kinda worried la
hmm..
playing with jerlene.
hope she can be calm enough.
and shandy can win the deciding match for us(:
whoopes!
let's go Bdiv!
we're gnna win like how the C'div girls did today(:
i was really shocked
my mouth was full when i read the msg
and i was like gnna laugh
and almost choked.
well done C'DIV girls(:
LOVES LOVES

dear monster
please take care of yourself(:
must have been eating too many kids these days now that i havent been spying on you.
time to lose the weight on sat :D

Tuesday, January 23, 2007 10:19 PM

busy day today
reached home at 8 plus la
was SO super sleepy in class
esp during eng.
and we had to do some compre thingie
and i was writing with my eyes closed
so it was super messy
i slept for 10 sec after every qn.
tmr's gnna be a long day too
and we have training.
oh yes.
renaldo's burgers are super good
had them for lunch today.
juicy beef patties and crispy buns.
i want more!

yay
ah chay!
you promised you're gnna eat right?
so no more running during lunch or recess
tsk tsk.
we'll just do more suicide runs
and dont forget to breathe.
hugs.

jialong.
dont worry
i will eat until gou ben.
i can eat for breakfast,
recess, lunch, tea break,
dinner and supper.
keep the courts clean,
trash your opponents(:

well done C'Div!
my faith in you girls has been renewed(:
more to come!
LOVES

ive suddenly become SAA crazy
but i missed the registration for the one on 27 jan
better not let dad know.
shh..

Labels: its SAFRA not safara.

Monday, January 22, 2007 11:01 PM

what a day
scarificed my sleeping time in the morning which is usually from 6.45-7.10pm
to look for sec ones
not really worth it if you asked me
rahhs.
loads of things happened
training was fine
i kinda like the 'suicide run'
whees!
but the guys got scolded for teaching us the wrong stuff.
hahha.
and ah chay
you better eat i tell you
if not you will faint/cant breathe
its not gnna be my problem
maybe i will ask someone to stuff you with food
i wonder who wld that be..
hahha.
shandy!
stop talking about the guy in red.
he talked to me
haha.
are you jealous?
i know you are.
please.
they are just kids who look down on us.
tsk tsk.
you can go join them for stretching on sat.
haha
but its kinda yoga-ish la
so better not.
right jed?
hahhha.
ive got tonnes to do
and im still blogging.
wow.
sometimes i really hate myself for being so lazy
and now i kinda hate my phone for always running out of batt so often.
blame me for not charging it for 8hrs when i got it.
blame me..
i cant wait for the weekends.
i seriously cant wait.
LOVES

im not so good with words,
but since you never notice
the way that we belong
i'll say it in a love song.

Labels: mom warned me about you.

Sunday, January 21, 2007 5:30 PM

sunday means i have to wake up early the next day.
together with all this..
monday: eng common test + training at st. michaels
tuesday: e math MRT + physics tuition
wed: training at st. michaels
thurs: chinese intensive + SUSHI :DD + eng tuition + more 963(:
friday: game with fairfield :/
saturday: badminton + guitar+ cell + badminton again(:
im a busy busy girl(:

jed!
quick go for your driving practical test whatever it is
then buy a car
so you can send mike and i all round the island
so we wldnt be late for anythg else anymore!
grins.
LOVES

You are,
great and mighty.

Saturday, January 20, 2007 10:32 PM

heyhey
badminton was rather unjoyable
but my service is like crap.
i cant stand it.
and playing with JT is extremely stressful.
anyways
i won the SHOWDOWN.
twice!!!
haha
we decided on sushi on thurs((:
big grins.
biathlons and mixed double soon :D

cell was really quiet
cuz cass was sick
deborah and faith were usually quiet
and i was just stoning most of the time and didnt feel like speaking
we need annette to liven things up(:
but thank you shauna for praying for me.
hope things wld get better
LOVES

all of my day i will sing of your greatness
all of my days i will speak of your grace
all of my days i will tell of your wonderous love
your love in my life,
your love..

let's all get SOAPY!!

Friday, January 19, 2007 9:54 PM

smile and say cheese!

today has been an ultra busy day.
there's like loads of badminton stuff to do
and ive got to clear up the mess after a number of people.
even if im not superwoman.
i have to try and become one :/
the number of problems that has been cropping up one by one
im starting to drop the balls that ive been struggling to juggle in life.

anyway
trials today wasnt too bad larh
the amelia person was kinda cute.
she play can play too(:
hope she can be my successor.
HA HA.
im sure.
no la.
maybe my number one student can take over me(:
grins.
talking abouts students
ive been a bad student please
doing all sorts of small little things that are against sch rules.
this is BAD.
from coloured clips to
wearing that CHAIN around my neck
its not even called a chain. lol
i know its like no big deal.
but it makes me feel guilty.
tsk tsk.
:D

anyway
i need to love the ppl arnd me more
in particular, my family
it seems like we're all room mates.
i dont even get to talk to my sis
even when i ask her about sch,
she usually sounds irritated and give me those stupid answers that wld cause me to scold her.
sigh
i dont know.
things have changed.
oh yes.
please pray for me
ive been asked twice to join prayer min.
mixed feelings :/
hmm..

alrights.
enough of nonsense.
no guitar this week
sorry aaron. next week okay?
im off to eat more korean seaweed that shandy gave me(:
chomp chomp
LOVES

Thursday, January 18, 2007 11:08 PM

heyhey
alrightys
today has been a different day.

a few weeks ago.
i think i was feeling sumtg like that:
"you said, sorrow is mine
for the Lord has given me sorrow in addition to my pain;
i am tired with the sound of my sorrow
and i get no rest
this is what you are to say to him"
jer42:3

"and as for you
are you looking for great things for yourself?
have no desire for them,
for i truely i will send evil on all flesh,
but i your life i willl keep safe from attatck wherever you go."
jer 42:5

but i think for now,
things have changed a little
but not completely
i still think there's more to come.
im still waiting.
ive been really blessed by the people around me
esp through letters and talks.
i know ive been stupid not to realised how fortunate i was until today
but i know im extremely flawed.
so please forgive me
esp if im always late
haha.
right julia?
anyways
selection for badminton tmr
please give me some hope(:

oh and thank you jiahan for that treat
hahha.
cuz im like BROKE now.
so yes yes
rmb the things that i asked you to do(:

LOVES

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 8:27 PM

im feeling terrible
i cant help it
im sorry everyone.
im not like superwoman you know.
LOVES

"For He wounds,
but He also binds up.
He injures,
but His hands also heal"

please mend this broken heart of mine.

i'll stand,
with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe of the one who gave it all
so i'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered
all i am is Yours.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 10:12 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAUNA(:

today was an ultra sleepy day
slept in all lessons.
but not in chem!
how cool is that.
hahha
cuz i was talking to gillian about stuff.
so didnt feel sleepy.
oh wells.
ive been thinking quite a lot today.
right now im just trying to put things behind me
ive got no more energy.

many thanks to
andrew
annette
jed
julia
mellissa
puiwah
and the rest who have been praying for me.
something good is going to happen,
something good is in store(:
LOVES

the waiting is gnna be tough
or am i supposed to let go
and let someone else be happy instead of me?

Monday, January 15, 2007 6:18 PM

all the hurt and the pain.

i can never say how i really feel inside.
but maybe it should stay that way.

i feel im so disppointing to the people around me.

rescue me from hanging on this line
i wont give up on giving You a chance to blow my mind.

Sunday, January 14, 2007 9:12 PM

i enjoy receiving encouragement cards and everythg.
but now.
all that doesnt mean anythg to me right now
they've all become bits of paper to me.
why?
i want that zeal and passion to all come back like it was in the past.
i want it so badly.

another week has gone by.
loads of prayers with tears.
everythg's in a big mess
i know things wld turn out fine eventually
but i just feel so empty.
no passion no nothing.
but im willing to wait.
LOVES

thank you my two cuddly monsters(:
loads of bao baos
grins.

just like how im waiting for you.

Labels: God of MIRACLES.

Saturday, January 13, 2007 11:57 PM

hey
just a whole bunch of random photos again
BIG day today.

i dislike carl's jr. and im not going to eat there ever again.

my 3mp photo.
hahaha
are you jealous?
the picture is like so sharp.

grins.

my irritating friend.
eeps.

snowmans!

shadows in the dark.

well well.
as i said.
BIG day
im just so tired of everythg
all accumulated and stuff
really need to let it OUT.
like ASAP
if not im gnna break again
which is gnna be rather sad as you know.
oh wells
today God kept trying to speak to me
but i was struggling to really hear Him
i wasnt sure whether it was sumtg He wanted to tell me or just something that was playing in my mind
anyway
it was just tough
i still dont see myself as an evangalist.
and that everythg just doesnt seem to fall in place
seeing successful people out there who make it big
earn money and stuff
just makes me feel even smaller
sometimes i really wonder what is gnna become of me
but i definately know for sure that im gnna be sumtg that great in God's eyes that might not be in the eyes of man
but i dont care.
God is real.
its just the flaws of man that keeps bugging me
sometimes i get unhappy with myself
im struggling.
but im not gnna stop giving myself chances to make it back on track again
i need to learn to trust,
which i have seriously not been doing for the past year or so.
just now on my way back.
on the bus
it seemed like it was raining pretty heavily.
so i was prepared to get wet.
but guess what.
when i stepped out of the bus,
i saw that the rain had stopped.
the ground was almost dry
and i asked myself,
why was that happening to me?
you might say that.
its just that i didnt see properly and that it wasnt even raining in the first place and im just making a big deal outta things
but im quite certain im not
this has happened to me many times.
and im thankful.
but i still feel empty.
there must be more than this.
there must be more than this.

im forgiven, because You were forsaken.
im accepted. You were condemned
im alive and well Your spirit lives within me
because You died and rose again.

amazing love,
how can it be, that You my King would die for me
amazing love,
i know its true,
its my joy to honour You.
in all i do, i honour You.

LOVES

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 11:25 PM

i posted pictures
but they dont seem to be appearing
oh wells
im not gnna let anythg put me down.
"but in everythg with prayer and petition.."
what some guy shared this morning during devotion.
(i deleted what i typed :/ hahha)
not gnna let anyone worry
im just gnna shut up in my own world.
i miss Rome.
arrivedeci.

its over,
almost.

Monday, January 08, 2007 11:17 PM

guitar guitar guitar
ive been playing the song 'your unfailing love'
ever since saturday.
i think i played it more than 20-30 times :/
all thanks to aaron who ask me to practice
and learn chord F.
i still cant ):
does that mean i dont have to attend your lessons anymore?
hah.
anyway
i can even memorise the chords for the song already.
my very first okay!
and i can play it in like 2 ways.
but now i wonder whether the lyrics mean anything to me.
anything?

hmm.
so many things to say
but they're all not worth your reading
so hahha.
too bad.

anyway
thank you tim
for assuring me with your nonsense ytd(:
hope the results come out well for that whatever thing.
thank you alvin.
hahaha.
what's love?
when you give until there's nothing left(:
thank you jed.
i got the msg today.
triple hugs.

Sunday, January 07, 2007 10:19 PM

how to let go.

hahha
im here again
this time with a different intention.
was doing emath just now.
trying not to drown myself in sorrow and whatnots.
when this article thingie appeared on my table.
it belonged to my mom.
it was about how to let go.
grins.
so here are some stuff that i managed to read plus some stuff that mrs tan shared the other day during assembly.
i kinda paid attention and stuff considering the fact that i dont usually do
and this time she made us take down notes and everythg
so here it goes.

"letting go is such a difficult thing to do..
the more insecure we are,
the more difficult is is to let go
one of the reasons could be the possessive love we may have for something that we refuse to let go of.
how to let go?
firstly,
it is to recognize garbage for what it is.
let go so you can catch somethg better and move on.
and to also let go of the precious things
cuz hanging onto the good can prevent us from experiencing the best.
learning from our trapeze artist metaphor,
swinging from pole to pole will bring us to the final pole.
when we come to this pole,
we cannot swing on it forever
even if we wanted to.
we cannot hang on to our mortality
whether we like it or not
we will lose our grip and we will be flung into darkness of death.
if we had not learned to swing well in the trapeze poles of our lives,
we will have great difficulty with the final pole of our lives.
on the other hand,
if we had learned to let go of our garbage and even that which is precious,
we would be abe to release our grip when we reach the final pole and fling ourselves with faith into the faithing and loving arms of God"
smiles.
this is like 1/10 of the whole thing.
so yeah
hope my summary skills are reliable.
anyway
you know,
just when i though i was gnna give up serving others and stuff along that line,
this appeared in my face.
"service is the rent we pay to be living
it is the every purpose of life and not something you do in your free time"
-marian wright.
how true.
hmm..
"this is the true joy in life,
the being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one
the being throughly worn out before you are thrown on the heap stack"
-some person :/

that's about it
will post pictures other random pics the next time round plus my new grip(:
mind you.
its not black anymore(:
LOVES

6:45 PM

topless five(:
all the fruity flavours
whee.

our giant earthquake(:

coke in a bottle with two straws(:
yum.

what's left of the earthquake

half the gp with alvin and candice(:

i think ive decided that i'll give up
yes.
that's what i'll do
until i change my mind
hope that comes soon.

for the amount of flaws that ive seen
no matter how much you try to polish it,
it will never go away.

this world has nothing for me.
i need you Jesus,
come to my rescue.

Saturday, January 06, 2007 11:33 PM

why am i feeling this way?

im feeling sick and burdened
but guitar was fun(:
i must practice more

when the darkness fills my senses
when my blindess keeps me from your touch
Jesus come

when my burdnes keeps me doubting
when my memories take the place of you
Jesus come.

and i'll follow You there
to the palce where we meet
and i'll lay down my pride as you seach me again

your unfailing love
your unfailing love
your unfailing love over me again

Friday, January 05, 2007 9:38 PM

heyhey
sorry for the lack of updates.
oh wait
i only didnt blog for a day :/
oh wells
nothing much to say for now.
having a bit of sore throat.
rahhs.
feeling grumpy.
oh yes
i read the thingie already, jed
grins.
you're always on my prayer list :D
badmntn soon!
after i get the grips.
training tmr.
alrights im off.
LOVES

i love BEEF bowl(:

Wednesday, January 03, 2007 6:36 PM

i looking forward to the weekends like SO much.
the only plus point of going back to sch is that i have my friends to lame with
and play sudoku with natasha>.<

Tuesday, January 02, 2007 3:38 PM

hey
you know..
i was just thinking about the countdown we had in church
a handful of ppl were not happy etc
well
so was i
was kinda disappointed
hahha
annette wld know what i mean
but as i was thinking about it..
maybe it wasnt such a bad idea
no rah rah-ing
no screaming
no shouting
just prayer and moments of silence
hmm..
i dont know
somethg different i guess
but i know many of us wld rather exchange that for a so-called better time with more ppl
more music and whatnots
hmm..
oh wells.
maybe we just dont really understand the true meaning of a new year
but i sinned just as the clock stuck 12 larh
rahhs.
oh wells.
trying to study for amath now(:
school tmr
smile and wave everyone.
smile and wave..
ciao

the hostility that you are showing..
let me tell you.
its not gnna work.
give up.
you have no idea what you are doing.
oh please.
sigh.

Monday, January 01, 2007 10:34 PM

take that step of faith.

another one of those camera shy moments

this is a bad photo
but can you see the rainbow?

hahha.
look at aaron at the back.

candy stealer.
tsk tsk,

alrights
its the like 1st of jan'07!
well well.
no big deal actually
anyway
went fishing/prawning at farmart
lol
lame chops to the max.
almost fell into the water
hahha
but all in all
i enjoyed myself.
good food
great company
and erm
nice toilets?
hahhahaha
okay.
nvm
SCH STARTS IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS!!
OH MY GOONESS!
I DONT WNNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL.
SOMEONE STOP TIME ):
oh mans :/
LOVES.